Once upon a time...

Ok, so I know I've been off the blog radar for over a month now and many of my facebook friends who I don't talk to regularly have been quite intrigued about some of my most recent status updates (which has been kinda fun!).  SO... this post has the great potential of being blog world's longest post ever! I've been putting off this post since I have about a zillion and one thoughts swirling around in my head and haven't even known where to start!

I guess I'll start with a question.  Have you ever had something happen in your life that was completely beyond your wildest dreams?  Something that you knew only God could orchestrate?  There have been several times in my life the Lord has impressed something upon me so clear and so big that I knew it could only be from Him.  Something so definite I knew that if I didn't follow His leading I'd be making a huge mistake.

Well, rewind almost four years ago. Once upon a time there was a mommy, a daddy, a Miracle #1 and a Miracle #2.  That Miracle #2 lived in a far, far away place her first 4 1/2 years of her life.  Once mommy, daddy and Miracle #1 brought Miracle #2 home and developed some pictures from a disposable camera we had sent to her prior yo her adoption we were blessed to have pictures of Audrey An's foster family and foster home- a forever treasure for Audrey An's forever family! That photo included a mama, a baba (daddy),a nainai (grandmother), a jiejie (big sister), and 2 gege's (big brothers).  Ok, so fast forward about two years.  We discovered one of those brothers was a foster brother a (with a birthdate one month older than AudreyAn) and the other two siblings were biological children of the foster parents.  David and I threw around the thought of adopting this foster brother, but we were never on the same page at the same time...until... the beginning of this year.  Hmmm.  Yep, you got it...hmmm, is what I said and thought for several weeks.  WHAT in the world?  Seriously? You can't be serious, God...really?  We've just moved back to the states.  I just got out of the hospital.  I'm just getting my life back.  I had all those feelings,but at the same time I had this peace and excitement about it-  all at the same time.  Weird, I know for several reasons, but if I've learned anything in my years of walking with the Lord, He doesn't always make sense. He's constantly teaching me that His strength is perfect in my weakness. David and I began to share our thoughts and feelings with each other.  We began to pray even more earnestly for this little boy- who we call ADB for now (that's a lot easier to say than his chinese name).  We could NOT get him off our hearts and minds!  Can.not.explain.it.  What did this mean?  Well, it meant to us to find out more information about him.  Looooooong story a little bit shorter is that I found out his birthday and found an incredible (new to us) agency that located him. He was not on any kind of list to be adopted, but the orphanage agreed to get him "paper ready" since a family was interested in him.  Wowzers!  I found out this information via a phone  call as I'm driving the carpool home on a Friday afternoon.  I was kinda speechless!  I called David on his trip and he was kinda...uh...speechless, too!  So....we prayed some more.  We batted around lots of ideas, cried lots of tears trying to discern God's will for our little family, counseled with many people including our pastor, and... bottom line is that we turned in our application with this agency and the paper chase has begun for a precious little 8 year old boy.  A little boy has already lived with our sweet An Xiaoli.  A little boy who we've actually talked to on skype several times (but had NO idea at that time God was leading us to pursue adopting him!). A little boy who has been prayed for for about four years already!

I have to admit that there's part of my heart that is very guarded (kinda like "I'll believe it when I see it"-  aka an official match from China).  A guarded heart because partly that's my nature but guarded because several agencies we "interviewed" told us to go into this process with a guarded heart.  We've struggled with being crazy confident but nervous and peaceful at the same time coupled with some moments of frustration due to some who have challenged our decision and discernment. I do have to say there is just something very freeing though knowing you don't exactly know the outcome of the path God is putting you on, but you know with all your heart you're taking the steps He's guiding you to take.  Obedience brings blessings and disobedience not so great consequences (trust me...I've experienced both, and I don't recommend that latter!).  Over the past two years I've had lots of down time- lots of "be still and know" time- lots of time to know that be still and know does NOT mean that prayer life is to be stagnant and passive.  We've also struggled with "what if God says at some point in the process that this is the end of the road".  We both feel confident that we've taken the steps of faith required up to this date, but Lord willing, ADB will be part of our family in about a year (give or take some months).

The girls are excited about all of this although when we told Audrey An, she was hoping for a sister...lol!  She got over that pretty quickly because she came to me after that and told me, "I think God changed my heart because I'm okay with having a brother now."  Since David and I (especially me) are very analytical when it comes to big decisions and look at the big picture over and over...and over some more it's been so refreshing to see how the girls respond to all of our battering back and forth.  We presented them with many different scenarios that could come up and more than once they've said, "Well, we'll just trust God if that happens."  So matter of fact.  Such child-like faith...love it!  I think all us adults can learn from that!

Praises:
*New agency is awesome- very attentive, caring, and on top of things!
*We've received video of ADB at school (in first grade) and updated height and weight!
*MANY very specific requests have been answered already (timing of meeting with our pastor one morning and application approval in the afternoon of same day, timing of first payment- got some cash back on something that covered application fee and three money orders sent off on same day- almost to the penny, timing of ADB updates, etc.)

*My health continues to improve!

Prayer requests:
*Paperwork, homestudy, and all clearances will be completed in timely manner (for ADB and us)
*ADB's physical and medical needs will be provided.
*Continued healing for me... quick medical update: my CPK has been NORMAL for a few months now...woohoo!  My rheumatologist still calls me his star patient, and I'm feeling great.  My internist continues to work  on finding "the cause" and is treating me accordingly as well which I appreciate.  

Okay, I've rambled enough...maybe.  It's pretty cool to pray for our daughter's foster family's salvation, health and needs for several years and now there's a very great possibility that we've praying for our son's!  It appears that God is choosing us to meet those needs! We'll see if our heart's desire to bring this child into our family is what really happens.  Something tells me it is, but God is also known for detours, too. I think it's pretty interesting, too, that my CPK number has steadily been coming down since we said "yes" and began to move forward on this decision. He orchestrated unity in my husband's heart and my heart at the same time.  I've loved how the ladies conference I attended a couple of weeks ago and the sermons from church have all confirmed so many things in my heart concerning this journey.  "His strength is made perfect in my weakness."

I hope this encourages someone who might be struggling with a decision.  God wants to amaze you!  He wants to amaze me!  If you're walking with him and earnestly seeking His plan for your life, God will answer you.  He will take you on a wild ride, and He won't ever let you go.  One of my favorite verses is to be strong and courageous!  God never promises "easy", but He promises that He will never leave you or forsake you!

So, there you have it...back on the radar!