So...this has been sitting in my "draft box" for many MONTHS.
This was written back in August 2018, but I'm just posting because I NEED to read this again! I mentioned in my last post my daughter, Abigail. She posted again (and you can find it
here). She mentioned a book we've been reading and studying-
Lies Young Women Believe . I'm completely humbled that my daughter actually got something out of me teaching her class the past couple of weeks-lol. You see, one of those "lies" she was talking about I get wrapped up in as well- and for most people in general I'm observing. The lie of "I'm not good enough." Well, actually that's truth, but I think we all need to expand the sentence to I'm not good enough, but Jesus Christ is! I'm pretty wretched apart from Christ. The more I grow, the more I realize that for sure! I cannot begin to tell you how satan has tried to distract me, frustrate me, cripple me (literally...with this silly flare up!),
whisper shout in my ear since we decided to start this study a few months ago. I was in full court press the first week I was "on" to teach. Who doesn't want TRUTH spoken to a bunch of precious junior and senior ladies who are pursuing God and trying to make sense of this crazy world they're living in? satan...with a lower case "s". What this flare up has done for me is to remember several things: I'm completely and totally dependent on God for everything in my life, God can use the slow in life to reflect and refresh, He may choose to not permanently remove this "thorn" (ugh!), and give thanks when He chooses to allow a reprieve...and maybe not be too anxious to taper off so many meds/supplements even when I'm feeling good (ha!).
I've had some really concentrated time to read, to study, to pray. I realize I often "think" about many things through out the day. I've shared this with my family and another gal with whom I meet. There's a difference in"thinking" and "praying". I get very distracted in my thoughts, and I've been making a more conscious effort to pray aloud when I' alone. It just makes me more focused and quite frankly, I feel like God hears me better. I know He doesn't care about the audible sound- but just one of those small things that He made me aware, and Ive found helpful in the adjustment.
Update (11.8.18): MAJOR life has been happening since this draft! Chan
had surgery to remove all the hardware in his right femur (accident on playground back in January that required surgery). we just went yesterday for his month follow up, and he's healing nicely and was even cleared to ride his bike (his first and only question of the doctor!).
Abigail has been accepted to all three universities she's applied plus was awarded the Wendy's High School Heisman for her school! With those acceptance letters come excitement, reality, and a weight on her shoulders (and her daddy and mine, too!). "Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart and lean not on your OWN understanding, but in all your ways, acknowledge Him and He WILL make [our] paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6.
For me, my health has taken a swing for the better, and I'm SO thankful! My lab numbers are down (a good thing!), and my symptoms have decreased drastically. Thank you for those who have prayed! I've started a new bible study which has been a huge blessing in many ways- great Truth looked at in a different light and new ladies to get to know.
God has been showing me and convicting me of many things through this study. I shared last Sunday with our high school juniors/seniors we help with at church, and I kinda got some blank stares. It IS what's been on my heart and mind for so long, and this study is what is solidifying it for me. So I had to share! "The heart of the problem is the problem of the heart." A simple yet profound statement by one of the authors, Henry Brandt.
