When I took Abigail to the doctor Monday for her follow up I told her that I felt a bit weaker and the tingling in my arms/hands/feet and she just looked at me and said again, " I really think you need to be on the methotrexate." (and that's what two other docs have told me, too), and, I, of course, just kinda had a glazed "I-really-don't-won't-to-go-there-look". I emailed her back yesterday and told her if she really thought that's what was best then David and I were open to me trying it. I'm just nervous about it because of the possible side effects and strength of this medication. I know everyone reacts differently to medication and treatments, but when you've had a family member who has not done well on a combination of this same treatment it does tend to make you a little hesitant. I have prayed so much about my medical care and this is the only thing that I've not gone with as recommended. So, maybe wisdom should be to go with this recommendation- at least try it??? My steroid dosage has been dropping 5 mg/week as scheduled, but now I'm going to hold at two weeks on this dose. I guess another stressor in all of this is that I know when I hit a certain dosage (in about a month) things could drastically change....more on that later.
It's just weird! Emotionally, I have felt better than I've felt in a very very long time (probably EVER!!!) during this entire medical saga and living over here then KABOOM- and I really think it's the change in hormones- it's gotta to be. I had a little melt down earlier today (ahhh, yes, remember those....hadn't had one of those in awhile and I know David is so very glad!!!), and just was shaking and felt so edgy. I hate when I'm like that. It's like an out of body experience!
So, I know....this, too, shall pass and I've got to get another adjustment of medication going, but at times I don't like even thinking about tackling that again. OVERALL, yes, I'm still better off than what I what I was two months ago (and continue to be sooo grateful!). I'm not sinking at all- just can see some change in things. HRT really stinks (although it does have some "monthly" advantages that I'm not missing...lol!). My body has just been ravaged with LOTS of medication, lots of inflammation, and lots of muscle deterioration- things that I sometime forget when I am having stretches of good days! David reminds me that steroids do weird things to people, and I was on such a high dose at the beginning maybe that combined with my HRT change is causing me some t.r.o.u.b.l.e- lovely.
As far as what we found out with Abigail...her liver enzymes are back to normal (they were 2-3 times elevated about a month ago), no strep, no bacterial infection, no anemia, but a slightly elevated ESR (inflammation marker). I'm obviously not a doctor, but maybe since her liver enzymes are back to normal, she could be on the backside of this virus??? I do hope so! I have to admit when I received the news of some "inflammation", it made my heart skip a beat (or two!)...given the fact that I am having inflammation issues. I'm going to take her back in to more clarification and a possible xray and /or sonogram, etc. Please pray for wisdom and for us to get the bottom of Abigail's health issue. I must not have anxiety about her. I just need explanation and clarification.
I am trusting, believing and knowing THIS to be true for sweet baby girl and for me! I posted this back on April 11, but I came across it again today (which I think was a divine appointment!), and it was just as powerful to me today than it was back in April!
I am trusting, believing and knowing THIS to be true for sweet baby girl and for me! I posted this back on April 11, but I came across it again today (which I think was a divine appointment!), and it was just as powerful to me today than it was back in April!
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