Back Home...

First of all, if you've arrived at my blog via clicking on my fb link and looking for the post about our special day with Audrey An, it's the post right before this (March 30).  For some reason my links aren't "linking too well" lately.

We arrived back "home" in our country of residence about 8:30 this morning.  So you know what that means????  We had to get up pretty stinkin' early to board an international flight (arriving 2 hours early) and touched down by 08:30am!!!  OH, and how glad that flight is over.  It was the most miserable flight I've ever been on, and I've been on a few!  My pain level was so intense and my ears popped/hurt so badly.    I know a nap is in my future this afternoon.  I wish it were in David's future, too, but it's not.  Since he IS Super Hubby, Super Daddy and now Super Employee lately he's leaving out again to fly the friendly skies, bless his heart.    David, I know I've told you many many times lately, but I truly couldn't have made it through this medical saga without you!  You've been wonderful!  You've helped me so much by taking care of everything in regards to our little "trip".  You've been currency converter, taxi cab hailer, hotel reserver, flight arranger, room service orderer, lunch and dinner finder, medical interpreter, credit card bill payer (I thought it was suppose to be direct bill....arrrggh!), kid show-me-Bangkok while I'm in bed guy, American Idol channel finder, market bargain finder, home school teacher, hormone putter upper (I kinda like that new word!), tear wiper, and most of all prayer warrior, encourager and hand holder!   I love you mucho.  In sickness and in health....

So, after 10 days of doctor's appointments and a whole lot of testing I'm toast.  Yes, toast.  I'm simply worn out emotionally and even more so physically.   I've never been so thoroughly tested- ever.  I'm extremely grateful for the whole experience and the ability to have even been a patient at the hospital.  We have some answer, but I think we have even more unanswered questions.  If you've know me for any amount of time, you know that I (along with the other females in my family) typically fit into the medical category of "Oh, that only happens to 1-2% of patients", etc.  The good news is that I don't have an auto-immune disease, tropical disease, parasite and a host of other things to "rule out".  I rejoice in that!  The tough thing is that they don't exactly know what is causing my muscle deterioration.  To recap, the endocrinologist thinks it's all due to hormonal imbalance.  The rheumatologist  feels that I do have a hormonal imbalance, but that doesn't cause muscle deterioration...inflammation, yes, but not deterioration.  He calls it a non-specific myositis/myopathy.   The infectious disease doctor has ruled out all the "biggies" and is still searching, honestly.  Hours before we left on the plane he was still sending out labs of blood work.  Since my "numbers" (the muscle enzyme # that is extremely elevated) had come down a bit, we left on the note of "wait and see".    He, of course, wanted it to come down more, but at least it hadn't increased!  If I'm not better in a month they want to see me again and pursue a MRI and muscle biopsy.  He said if the numbers had increased he would have done those tests asap.

All I know is that you know you're getting old when your daughter has to help you out of the bath and get dressed AND you have a pharmaceutical arsenal sitting next to your bathroom sink.  You know you're weak when you can't clip your own finger nails or pick up a pillow....geesh, I've haven't hit the 4-0 either : )  You know you're blessed when you have two sweet girls who have spent 50+ hours in hospital clinic waiting rooms entertaining themselves and trying their best to to do school.  And, well....I've already talked about David : )   You know, I had lots of time to people watch over the past 10 days.  I saw lots of interesting people, heard lots of interesting stories, and observed a lot of different beliefs.  It was definitely a melting pot of God's creations.  Oh, how thankful I know for sure that I believe in the Great Physician!

The following has been an encouragement to me in the past couple of weeks...
"I will extol the LORD at all times;
   his praise will always be on my lips.
I will glory in the LORD;
   let the afflicted hear and rejoice.
Glorify the LORD with me;
   let us exalt his name together.
 I sought the LORD, and he answered me;
   he delivered me from all my fears.  Those who look to him are radiant;
   their faces are never covered with shame.
This poor man called, and the LORD heard him;
   he saved him out of all his troubles.
The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him,
   and he delivers them. 
Taste and see that the LORD is good;
  blessed is the one who takes refuge in him"
 Ps. 34:1-8

2 years ago today!

If you've known me "pre-Audrey An" and followed our adoption journey, you'll remember THIS SPECIAL DAY!!

This precious yet sad little face stared back at me from a computer screen for the first time...the first time we "met" our daughter!  An Xiaoli, you melted our hearts!

So...two years later THIS is the precious face that smiles back at me now!!!  It's hard to believe she's even had 3 hair cuts, since she's been in our family!

Okay, so I drafted the following post on January 30 of this year, but was waiting for a good time to share it.  I think TODAY is a great time to share it!

Can I just tell you how much I love this little girl???  To the moon and back!!!  We had one of the sweetest yet heart wrenching conversations this afternoon.  Audrey An and I were having some mommy/daughter time and she began talking about her life back in China.  I LOVE having these conversations with her.  It just gives me such insight into her little heart and mind.  I'm thrilled she wants to talk to me about it, and I think I learn something new each time we have a "China Talk".


Two of the treasures we brought with us to our new home is the digital scrapbook I made for her that pretty much sums up her first year with us and the other is the scrapbook we received from the orphanage on our "Gotcha Day".  One of our hopes and dreams while we're on this side of the world is to go back to China and meet her foster family, visit her orphanage, and hand deliver the digital scrapbook to them ourselves!  She can sit for 1/2 an hour or so looking at all the pictures (and this is seriously about the only time she sits still I might add!!!).


Anyway...she began showing me "her" scrapbook pages of her and her foster family and proceeds to tell me that she misses them and she's sad.  She actually tells me she misses them quite often, bless her heart.  I imagine she does!   I know they miss her, too. They're the only family she knew for quite a few years prior to us.  I really DO know they miss AA because we've exchanged emails a couple of time in the past few weeks....that's another story!  I asked her if she was always sad for them or if she had any happy in her heart.  She said, "Yes, I have happy in my heart."  I said, "Oh, good!  Why do you have happy in your heart?"  She hugged me up real tight and squeezed both of my cheeks and said, "because I have a family now!" SNIFFFFFF!!!


THEN...came the questions we've been waiting for since the summer of 2009.  She started asking more details about her birth mommy.  One questions led to another with such a inquisitive little and thoughtful little face.  David and I have purposed in our heart from day 1 that we'd always be as truthful as we could about with what we knew of her life in China.  We never wanted to paint this rosy picture of what "may" have happened the day of her abandonment or what exactly what her birth mother's situation was.  We agreed to always tell her the facts.  Some facts we'll just simply never know, but some things we do know.  It will be a lifelong process for her and us in knowing how to deal with all the "knowns" and the "unknowns" of her life prior to becoming apart of our family.  She asked me how she got to he orphanage, etc.  Well, David and I know that fact, fortunately.  We have the honor of having the name of the kind woman who God placed in our daughter's path the day she was abandoned on the side of the rode on December 27, 2004 and took her to safety.  We know the the police station she was taken to and we know that they were the ones who took her to the Children's Welfare Institute (orphanage). 


Like I mentioned, she was very attuned to what I was saying.  I could tell that she was deep in thought digesting all she was being told.  She then said, "Well, mommy, there's just one thing wrong with this.  People just can't leave children on the side of the road!"  I just took a long, deep breath and just thought "Wow".  One of  the cold, hard realities and circumstances of so many orphans is just that.  I don't know why she was abandoned.  It could be for so many reasons, and I told her that.  It could have been that her birth mother was very young and could not care for her.   It could have been that her birth parents already had a child and because of the law they could not keep her.   It could be that her birth parents didn't have the means to give her medical help for her cleft lip.  She then asked, "What's a cleft lip?"  I loved that question!  She's never noticed (as many others have never noticed) that her lip looks any different!  I also have never point out her repaired cleft lip.  I figured she'd notice it one day.


So, we ended the conversation with praising God for the lady (who I choose to leave anonymous on here) who found her and took her to safety. We praised God for her birth mommy choosing to give her life (and privately in my on thoughts praising that her life wasn't discarded like a piece of trash)!

Also,  On January 1, 2011 we received an email from her foster sister- THAT'S a miracle in itself, too!  Persistence and the grace of God pays off is all I can say.  I had enough insight on "Gotcha Day" to ask for the director of the foster care program's email address.  After 13 returned emails (due to not being able to make out one character she wrote down and trying every possible combination it could be!) and about 6 months later I received an email from the lady who brought AA to us at that government building.  She obviously was forwarding our email (as requested by me) to AA's foster family.  We've emailed numerous times since then and have sent numerous pictures.  They've been so kind and gracious to us...thanking us for adopting and "give her good life and make her so happy".


I love you, Audrey An Xiaoli, and I can't imagine our family without you!  I love our snuggle times, and I love our sweet talks.  I count it a privilege that you remember so much about China and that you choose to let us in on that part of your life.

Since I couldn't choose my favorite from our photo shoot....here's a few to show her spicy little sassiness!

more Bangkok...

David and the girls are out and about again this afternoon so I'm sleeping, cropping, reading, sleeping, cropping, reading!  I can't take credit many of the pics as David has done most of the photography on this trip.  I don't have enough strength to hold the camera!  Enjoy!

Hoping for some baht (Thai currency) in that blue cup...

Most of these are from the Chatuchuk Weekend Market...over 15,000 booths!!!  Everything from food, textiles...you name it. 

Audrey An was SOOOO excited to get this little purse.  Oh my word.

Why do we always have food in our pictures : )

Lighting fixture, I think...I wasn't with them on this trip.

The fruit here is so delicious, fresh, and super cheap (unlike the states).

I think this little boy had a crush on AA!  He was so showing out for her.  It was really cute!  He and another little buddy of his played soccer with a paper cup, but he'd do this little "prayer-like" thingy before he'd kick.

I really wanted these shoes...no can do though.  Only for little people : (

Yes, I disobeyed doctor's order for one afternoon and went to the market.  What's a girl to do with 15,000 stalls to choose from!?!?!

again, more food.  I must say, I Thai burrito was pretty good!

One bad egg

Well, I thought I just might get through this process with 100% satisfaction guarantee with docs, nurses and hospital, but I didn't.  I found the rotten egg today...fooey.  One in eight days is not too bad though!!!!  On a much better note though he did deliver great news.  He (the breast specialist) said in his professional opinion that "those parts" are fine and the cysts that were seen on the sonogram is due from my HRT but nothing to be concerned about.

My muscle pain is decreasing, but I've been a little jaded to the positive direction of that due to continuing with a very sore throat, ear ache and the discovery of a swollen gland on the back of my neck yesterday. Obviously, my immunity is down and am having difficulty fighting off anything.  I have some other bizarro symptons that I'll be discussing with Dr. #1 and Dr. #2 when I see both of them again on Wednesday.

While I hung out at the hotel again David took the girls to the Grand Palace.  I'm really glad they've had some good daddy/daughter dates this past week.  I've missed being a part of them, but I'm so thankful for their special times together.  Here are some pics of their day together.

feeding the birds...one landed on Abigail!

Topped off the nite with some Tex-Mex!!!  First time we've had mexican food in almost 4 months!  These Thai waitresses didn't know what to think about these Americans who kept asking for chips and salsa refills!

The city is beautiful lit up at night.

thought this was an interesting...

 So, one bad egg is not so bad when coupled with LOTS of prayers being answered!